Burrow of the Fallen Bear: A Gay Furry Visual Novel really stressed the point that people who enjoy this game also enjoy multiple sexual encounters with multiple partners with zero connection other than physical. That all beliefs, ideas and personal codes can be thrown out the window if arousal is observed. If this is just meant to be erotica, put that in the title.
It’s not sexy enough to justify how bad the gameplay is, there is no story that could possibly explain anything that’s happening on screen (why am I hacking into a computer to look at nude photos of strangers?), and the number of titles out there that deliver more eroticism with less blatant sex pandering are high. Everyone will judge you for playing this, and no one will be your character witness in court afterwards. It’s hot trash, and if you’re seriously into the character design here, there are better games that are actually games. Please, don’t do this to yourself. You deserve better.
This is a fully formed digital release on the most profitable console on the planet at this time. It has nothing for no one, and I’m just sad that someone probably will play this in an attempt to make life a bit better. Bad news, mate: this fish is dead in the water.
You could literally buy a decent deck of cards and just search the internet for “hot anime girls” and end up with the same result, but better. More variety in whatever waifu you want to look at, and you can play other games with the deck of cards. Maybe even play against people. Hell, this could be your gateway into socialization so that you stop wasting time on clickbait games that seek to use your libido against your wallet.
That is my feeling, my awful, heavy feeling about Arcana of Paradise ~ The Tower. If I had gotten exceedingly lucky with my first roll of characters, maybe I would have been hooked by the grindloop and joyfully gotten bread for my fellow kids. Instead, I just felt disappointment and disinterest grow like a fungus in my heart. I kept trying to play so I could find more, figure out what it is that makes it tick, and I found nothing. This isn’t worth my time, and I can’t say, with any confidence, that it’s worth yours.
The minigame competitive scene is already chock full of great choices, and Garfield Lasagna Party isn’t one of them. It’s somehow both too long and too short at the same time, with minigames and animations running overtime, and gameplay being terse and light.
Mr. Prepper has decent graphics, a fun throughline for a story, and really opens up in terms of actions the further on you go. Yet it’s the needing to do it in such a limited window, both for the auto-save countdown and the lack of mouse, that keep it from being something that I’d come back to time and again. I might consider picking it up on the computer in the future, but I don’t think anyone should be playing it on the Switch. It’s just not what the burgeoning prepper deserves.
Maybe when I just want to have a pulpy storyline with a bunch of turn based combat, I pick up a short RPG and blast away at mutated animals and doomsday cultists and call it a day. Perhaps, when I’m hungry for it, For A Vast Future is just the snack I need. Sadly, today, I was looking for something a bit more filling, and this left me just a bit dissatisfied.
If this is your jam and you have been waiting, you’re a truly fascinating individual and I’m glad you can get this title for less than a movie ticket. Enjoy it, unlock all the hidden achievements, have fun because it’s a cute and simple game. For everyone else… I don’t know what to tell you. I’m at the point where I don’t know how I got here and I need to call an adult. The sheep made me do it.
It wasn’t always clear what should be done, it wasn’t always easy, but it did always manage to be unerringly true to itself. Like skydiving or another extreme activity, I would cautiously tell the right people to give it a try and find so much that, honestly, is like nothing else. Are you the right people? You may just need to buy a train ticket and find out.
This game has no future for my own interests. I can nod and say “I played it,” followed by shrugging if asked if I liked it. If my friend wanted to try it, I’d give it another spin with them, but it’s far, far down the list for a game I’d recommend to pick up and play.
Nitro Kid has potential, but there’s a key factor missing that keeps it from just popping on the screen. The Codex is hilarious and I want to read more, the boss variety is interesting and the concept isn’t bad at all: I like the animation from rescuing the Nitro Kids and from certain enemy attacks. But the repetition and the need to basically luck into a strong route build keep it from being something I want to come back and play again. In a gaming ecosphere that is currently flooded with roguelite deckbuilders, Nitro Kid is barely able to tread water.
I think Amnesia: Memories is just a tad cold, a bit too mean, and left me feeling restless and unresolved. It hits the notes, but it hits them in the wrong key. A classic, certainly, and I’m glad Switch owners have the option to play it. I just don’t know if it’s one I’d pick up if given the choice.
Looking at other games released in 1991, it’s honestly stunning to think that Japanese players had Final Fantasy IV, A Link to the Past and this jaw-dropping sim all in one year (and my family decided to get me Captain America for the NES…cool). So, while it may not have aged great (and honestly has been poorly ported), fans of the series can take a look in this time capsule for a few bucks, nod in recognition, and then probably never pick it up again. Sorry princess, your audience is in another castle.
With a forgettable soundtrack and decent, if somewhat generic, graphics, Soda Crisis feels as middle of the road as you can get without it being inherently bad. I can see what they were going for, and I get glimpses of success, but that’s all it is: just glimpses. The input lag from controllers, the fidelity going to hell, and the pretty mundane nature of it all just left me very nonplussed about the entire game.
In the end, I just had a bad time playing B.I.O.T.A. I should have been thrilled to be fighting my way through aliens and mutants and blowing things up, like when I was a child. Instead, I was watching the clock and figuring out if I’d put in enough work to stop, like when I’m an adult. A game should never feel like a chore, and there was just too much being asked by B.I.O.T.A. for me to have a good time.
All issues about graphics and cameras aside, the largest fallacy of Hotel Transylvania: Scary-Tale Adventures is that it’s got nothing to it when all is said and done. If you really want to be a completionist and get awesome scores on each level, or find all the monster trading cards, you can with minimal effort, just more time.
Mon-Yu is exceedingly well-coded, runs well, and is just exceptionally boring. The story is cookie cutter, there’s zero stakes ever, and the exhaustively long name just proves that there was the intent to distract from the very beginning. This can be fun if you’re a real dungeon junkie and just want to make a team of different catgirls to wreck house over and over again. Don’t expect anything more than surface level and you’ll be fine.
I personally wouldn’t return to this game in the future, even if they do manage to bring over the Japanese audio so it doesn’t sound like a 70s martial arts dub. The amount of detail is intense, the campaigns are especially long, and the exceptional animated sequences are few and far between from simply staring at a small map and even smaller menus to do a multitude of tasks. This game is definitely for someone, and, if you’re even remotely interested in Japanese history, this is an incredible feat of a title. But it’s too big of an ask for too little of a reward.
It’s a dark tale about a broken man and a total disregard for everything that goes into a player’s time and money. If you’re properly gelded against cynicism, you might enjoy the graphics, soundtrack and some of the better combat moments. Otherwise, you’re stuck in the same paradox as Thorn: unable to admit that it’s all been a lie.